Type: Circus act
Vinyl Burns - Popular gentleman
A hit in 1972 Las Vegas, Vinyl’s show business career has since dwindled but his enthusiasm hasn’t. Vinyl has relocated his international playboy lifestyle to New Zealand so now you have the privilege of his effervescent company.
Vinyl is not quite the icon he believes himself to be (but don’t let him know!), his style and grace need a bit of polishing, but his charm is still top notch.
The Vinyl Burns experience features comedy, improvisation, slapstick stunts and the lovable character 'Vinyl Burns'
Ideal for: street entertainment, corporate function, private party, product launch, festival, conference
In his own words. . .
Celebrity – it's who I am.
Hi, I'm Vinyl Burns...
People often ask me…. why do I know you? How did we meet? Why are you dressed that way? Let me clear all this up, once and for all…
I’m a man of good looks, charisma, charm and easy vibes. I hold court like Jordan jumps across it. I enjoy imparting my genius to the ladies, and sometimes the men are close enough to pick a little of it up as well.
I like to write the names of my lovers on the sand at the beach, but often there are too many people on the beach for me to finish the list.
I like to ROCK!
I like to eat. In Korea, I ate a dog. They told me it was the local custom, and because I know how important it is to honour the locals and show respect for their little customs, I just wolfed that puppy right on down.
They started whispering to each other, and then the one who spoke English said that it was also customary to eat my hat. I don’t wear a hat, but I said I’d eat my shirt, if it would please them.
He said it would please them very much, so I ate my shirt. I was pretty full by the end because it was winter time, and it was a heavy woolen shirt.
The Winter thing also made being shirtless quite uncomfortable.
I’m a diplomat and an cultural icon and figurehead. I’m a figurine on the giant porcelain chess board of pop culture. I dabble in politics and I write for some magazines that prefer to remain anonymous.
You like me. They like me. I like me.
I’m one of a kind, and I teach all manner of things. I have a poker retreat up in the Ruahine mountains, near where that guy got shot by his hunter friend.
I teach surf lifesaving in the winter time (to make sure they’re really tough and ready for action), and I do some freelance dentistry and the odd bit of surgery (to keep my hand in).
I vote as often as I can (usually just once or twice every three or four years), any more than that and you get caught... and I’m a silent contributor to a number of political movements.
I was an officer of the CIA for a short period in the 1980s when things got pretty hot in Atlantic City, but these days, I’m just watched by them… just like everybody else.
I’m famous for life. For love. For good and for bad.
I’m in it for the funny.
And while I’m here, we should get into Pakistan before those North Koreans do… I’m not saying that I know anything, but there are some things that I know… which I can’t tell you.
Three words… Michael Jackson, Saturn V, Watergate. Ok, Watergate is two words but looks like it was typed with a broken space bar, or maybe by a man with no thumbs. And “V” is just a letter, which in this case represents a number, so that’s even less of an extra word.
In any case… stock up on the water and watch a lot of M*A*S*H – we didn’t spend 60 million bucks on the script for nothing.
So, in closing, I wish you all peace, cosmos and a fiscal urban future …. because when you’re friends with Vinyl Burns… it’s ALWAYS tomorrow.
The Vinyl Burns Icebreaker and Celebrity Hosting
Show length: 30 - 90 minutes (As required)
Imagine your next conference, meeting, gala or awards dinner.
Celebrity host,Vinyl Burns individually welcomes each guest, immediately creating a memorable buzz and offering everyone present a personalised experience.
With seasoned expertise, Vinyl quickly gauges each group, and insures the guests remain just within their comfort zone. The room full of strangers will soon gel, as the Vinyl Burns experience gently unites the room.
Vinyl’s charisma, charm and good looks will impress, entertain, and most of all put your guests at ease, giving them something (and someone) to talk about whilst waiting for events to unfold.
Your valued guests will remember the VIP treatment.
The Vinyl Burns Comedy Cabaret
Show length: 6 - 60 minutes
Hosted by the legendary celebrity playboy Vinyl Burns
Live and direct from 1972 Las Vegas, Vinyl relives his golden days with a collection of stunning illusions he can't quite remember, set to the tune of classic seventies TV themes.
This ten minute routine features magic, dance and a spectacular ironing board balance. It is a self contained cabaret/stage piece but can also be combined with other routines to create a longer show.
A hilariously inept voyage of retrospective indulgence.
The Rock'N'Roll Unicycle Show
Show length: 10 - 45 minutes
Internationally renowned celebrity mystery man "Vinyl Burns" is brought to you live and direct from 1972 Las Vegas. Brimming with inept sophistication, extreme stunts and surprisingly polished skills, Vinyl rides in hot pursuit of his destiny…to deliver a powerfully charismatic, comic experience for any audience.
Vinyl creates atmospheric loops of guitar and voice before suiting up with a ludicrous array of safety equipment, and climbing to the top of his 6ft unicycle. Once perched there, he delivers a mix of guitar shredding rock, and achingly sweet melody.
It's dramatic, silly, beautiful and hilarious... All in one moment.
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